Plagued.

Lord,

How did Job do it? Family taken. Wealth take. Health taken. Struck with pain - heartache and physically sores. Friends insist he had sinned. Wife asked if he would still trust You.

He never did curse You. He continued to hope and trust in You.

I am feeling dejected. Memories came flooding back as I stepped into the library yesterday.. actually, the moment I saw her (or didn't really look at her). I long for the friendship to be restored. I've forgiven her. But I want to know if she feels the same about wanting the friendship back once more. If she doesn't, she should state it explicitly so that I wouldn't be wasting any more of my time and effort and start on the path of false hopes once more. I am ready to leave it. All I want is one final face-to-face talk with her. Enough time and a conducive environment to talk things out. If her conclusion is that this hope is not founded, I'm fine with that also. Just need one solid CONCLUSION, hopefully amicable.

Prof whatever his name is unreasonable by my terms. Not trying in the least bit to make minor adjustments to the schedule to accomodate the 2 medical students convenience. Raising his voice over the phone in such a defensive mode. Did I speak to him in a respectful manner? I tried to. Oh well, I don't know what this O&G posting has in store for me. I only want to work hard (to be able to do that is a wonder in itself) and do my best to enjoy this posting. Help me Lord. 8% of my MBBS marks are from this OSCEs!

Night call on sunday. The Peter study guide to look through and modify. The neonate book to buy and readings to do before the morning quizzes. 

I think my memory is improving =) Maybe I should not try too hard and relax and try absorb without stress and extra hard effort put in. Thank you Lord.

I don't want to ramble on.

Please keep me close to You. Knowing that You rise the sun each day, ever so faithfully, for me. Your grace is ever sufficient for me and in that I place my hope. Help me to not be afraid of giving of myself to others.